What is enmeshment?

Enmeshment is a term used to describe a family dynamic where boundaries and identities are blurred between parents and their children. It could involve parents determining a child’s career path, excessively managing a child’s choices, oversharing struggles with a child, and much more. Although each individual act may seem innocent, consistent and repeated acts can damage a child’s psychological development and inhibit the formation of a sense of self. The solution for an adult who is suffering from the effects of enmeshment is to self-differentiate through forming and maintaining their own values, beliefs, feelings, choices, and actions. For example, someone may have been raised to think they need to to go to college to be good enough to pursue a certain career. However, they learn best through self-learning and can develop confidence in their abilities through practice. Following their own way provides them with the belief that they’re good enough without a degree. Even if the adult doesn’t know their way yet, acknowledging the desire to find a way and being open to learning others’ opinions and experiences is being self-differentiated.

What does it mean to develop my own beliefs about work?

Whether we are aware of it or not, we all have core beliefs about the reasons we should work or why we want to work. If you’re working just to pay your bills, then you believe that the purpose of work is to maintain material security. If you’re working to do something that fills you with passion, then you believe the purpose of work is for emotional fulfillment. You can also hold multiple beliefs about work at the same time. There is no one right purpose for work. It’s all an individual’s choice how they want to exert their free will. An exploration into your beliefs about work can help to develop a clear direction for your career and lead to the intrinsic motivation to proceed in that direction.

What is insecure attachment?

Insecure attachment refers to the strategies that are learned as a result of inadequate caregiving. The strategies were adaptive during childhood, but become primarily maladaptive in adulthood. The subcategories of insecure attachment (anxious, avoidant, or fearful avoidant) describe how one navigates their choices, whether through means of strict emotion, strict logic, or assessing the environment to determine whether emotion or logic will win. However, secure attachment can only occur when one can navigate choices with equal parts logic and emotion.

What is household dysfunction?

Household dysfunction refers to a living environment in which substance abuse, mentally ill caregivers, domestic violence, poverty, or any other harmful environmental dynamics are present. Although none of these directly affect the way a child is cared for, they create an environment where the child experiences distress and learns maladaptive behaviors and beliefs to survive. For example, a child raised in poverty might learn that making mistakes with financial decisions is often dangerous. This could lead that child to grow into an adult that is not willing to take financial risks.